I came across this excerpt the other day:
.What I’ve come to understand is that the most important work I do to see a child in positive ways is within me. I must continually work to transform my own view of children’s behaviors, see their points of view, and strive to uncover how what I am seeing reveal s the children’s deep desire, eagerness, and capacity for relationships. There is no more important or rewarding work than this."
And it serves as a reminder to me that everything is within me. What I make of any situation, if I choose to see the glass as half empty or half full, this decision is within me and I need to see the positives MORE.
I am in a Simplicity Parenting class and I believe the teacher is a compassionate communications specialist. It's where you practice respectful communication and one of the points is something like - look at the situation from the other person's perspective. Do not only see my perspective and how these words or actions are affecting me, but to stop and think, what is this person trying to say? What might be going on in his or her life that would cause this action? Show some empathy. Ahem, me? Yikes.
Boy, this kind of pause and reflect before speaking is REALLY hard for me. I am such a knee jerk reaction sort of person which, actually makes me sort of a jerk sometimes.
But I am thankful that I am surrounded by really grounded people that help me to stop and reflect. Sometimes, this happens after the fact but even an acknowledgement after eases the tension. And hopefully, with daily practice I will get better at more mindful communication. I know it will help me to be a better parent. It's unfortunate that I had to wait 40 years before coming to this realization...and to be honest, there is a lot that I have been learning about myself ever since D was born and continue to learn because of the choices I make for her. However, I can't say it's not exhausting...