Monday, March 20, 2017

Parenting with conviction

For the past few weeks, I have really seen the fruits of my parenting with conviction. What I mean by that is there are certain things that I just don't waiver from when I am saying, "No" to things. For instance, when it comes to food. That is a BIG one for me. I cannot stand when children don't eat the food that is placed in front of them. Ever since D has been eating, I have firmly said that she has to eat whatever is on her plate except for maybe olives and onions which she has indicated that she does not like and I think that is fair.
I've really been pleased that there have been a few times now where she has voiced her displeasure at having to eat salad for dinner or having to eat arugula. Yet, I do not budge. I just firmly but kindly say, "please eat them." And there is no fighting or arguing. She knows she will not be leaving the table unless she eats her food.
I have been practicing and practicing equanimity and just speaking in an even tone. There is no reason to get mad at things. There is no reason to get mad because she doesn't want to eat something. When I get mad, the situation gets elevated because I think to a child, it seems like we are lashing out and hurting them and then they just can't hear you. I just say very matter of factly, "you need to eat that." And she knows she needs to eat it.
Another good experience that I've had was when we recently went skiing. When D started out learning to ski, she'd wanted poles because everyone else has them. We explained to her, very kindly, that when you are first starting to ski, you don't need poles. Plus, they can actually be a hindrance. We went skiing with a friend of hers who's parents are very generous and bought the little girl a whole ski set with poles. She doesn't need them. D said to us, "She has poles!" We simply replied, "Don't know why her parents bought them but you don't need them so you will not get them." End of story. Well, it's been a couple of years since D has been learning and she has been doing very well. She can keep up with us whilst skiing and because we are skiing easy runs there can tend to be some slow spots where we kind of have to push through the snow so now we see that she could use some poles. Before our last ski trip, she asked if she could rent poles this time. We want her to feel like her decisions matter so we said sure. She got them and she was so excited.
Here again is where the parenting with conviction comes in. She knows that I still don't think she needs them so she knew she'd have to carry them herself and she did. Never once asked if someone would carry anything for her. Also, after her first day of skiing with her poles she said to me, "Mama, the poles sometimes hurt my hands when I use them...but I still want to use them." And I simply responded, "Oh, you'll get used to it." She was happy and we had a lovely time skiing.
As I mentioned in my previous 9-year change post, right now is an important time for D to feel that she is heard and that she can have her way sometimes and we are trying to do that. I am so thankful for our teacher and his reminder for equanimity. It is just so much more peaceful just to speak about things rather than get mad. So much more effective.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Is there a Method to this madness?

Just attended the Natural Products Expo West. Which, by the way, I LOOVE. I love seeing what's coming out, what products are trending and what seems to be trending more and more is organic, natural, minimally processed and sustainably sourced. That is all good news.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Mindful eating

I recently had dinner with a friend and she asked me if I'd heard of or ever practiced mindful eating. I have read about it, but I don't think I've ever actually practiced it. I think the common practice is to focus on the task at hand and not multi-task like read a magazine or watch tv or just wolfing down your food. What I know it to be is this. Which I definitely would love to put into practice. Maybe not every day but at least sometimes.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Media is overrated

We recently took a trip to Whistler, BC. Which I highly recommend. Actually Whistler can be a bit hit or miss. Last year when we went, it was a bit rainy so the snow can get a bit sloggy and the rain just kind of blows.

This year, we were lucky and got snow! And bright sunshine. Good times.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The 9-year change

In my last post I mentioned the 9-year change. We just discussed this topic in-depth in our recent class meeting and it's goooooood.

Here are some symptoms to look for:
• Secrecy.
• Alone time. Children around this age (remember, it could start as early as 8 years old) want to be alone.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Waldorf Education

Just had our parent teacher conference yesterday and of course, it's no surprise that I love this education. What really warmed my heart yesterday was that the teacher spoke to me about the 9-year change. Oh, it's real.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Behavioral Optometry

I was speaking to a mom friend today who was telling me about her son and how he has been going to a behavioral optometrist. I have never heard of this! Her son had been experiencing what seeed like sensory disorder. He would lean on her whenever she was nearby. He would freak out sometimes when people entered into his personal space. He was in a classroom of 8 children and often could not cope. Obvi, when you hear these symptoms, you think oh, ADHD or sensory perception disorder.