I'm her mother, not her sister

I was recently out with a friend and her kids. She's got two girls that flank the babes in age. The three of them are great friends. We were eating out and D and I got into a bantering match and my friend burst out, "Oh my gawd, will you two just stop! You're like two siblings bickering!" And then she tried to share a strategy as to how we could calm ourselves down and engage in a respectful way.

I love...myself!

Yep. Lately, I've really been loving on myself. Might be the laboradorite bracelet I've been wearing...might be because I follow a lot of motivational/affirmation personalities on IG. In any case, this NY Times article found its way into my inbox and as I read it, I thought, "Yes, it felt great the other day when I complimented myself on a job well done."
The other day, I had a packed morning schedule. I had a lunch date with a friend who was recovering from knee surgery so had planned to make some healing soup and bring it to her. Then I also had planned to bring baked goods to the babe's classroom to celebrate her assistant teacher's bday. The back up was just to buy the goods if I ran out of time. But, I got it all done! Woke up in the morning, make brekkie and lunch for the babes and the hubs. Put a pot of beans in the slow cooker. Took the babes to school and started making the soup. While the soup was cooking I made mochi cupcakes for the class. When all was done, I felt like giving myself a high five!

Boundaries

Our lovely teacher held a Friday circle last week and the topic was "boundaries." We each have personal boundaries and it's respectful not to cross another's boundaries. It's interesting because apparently, my child shared that people touch her hair all the time and though it bothers her sometimes, it's not enough that she would make a fuss.

The culture of silence

This summer, my child got to participate in a vaulting class, which she loved. Vaulting is basically gymnastics on horses. We decided to enroll her in classes at the one she went to over the summer, but first, we took a trial class. At this trial class, the instructor, who is a male made an inappropriate comment, such that we now will not be enrolling her in the class.

The picture of the 9/10 year old

We just had our class meeting. I love our class meetings because our teacher always gives us a picture of where our children are developmentally. The 9 year change is a big one - the children start realizing that they are an individual, they recognize mortality. Many will start saying things like, "No one likes me."

A motto for my 9-year old

My 9-year-old is getting on my last nerve. She is very privileged and lives a pretty good life. And while I'd hoped that these "privileges" would result in gratitude, it hasn't. I mean, of course, why would it if she hasn't learned what gratitude is? I guess when you're not around poverty or scarcity, how would you compare to learn about gratitude?

Home Alone

Every year around August, I get to stay home alone for a weekend. The hubs takes the babes and they go camping with another family. This started as a father daughter thing because one year, the mom of that family couldn't go so I happily stayed home. Consequently, the mother does join them every year and I still, happily, decline.

She laughs at me

First of all, let me just state that it is unacceptable that I have waited so long to post. Tsk! Tsk!
I'll try to be more diligent.
My child, she laughs at me. I've only really lost it, in a sad way twice. Once when the babes was around 4 years old and I had just had it with all her complaining about the food she has to eat, "Ugggh, oatmeal AGAIN" Meanwhile, I can understand if I was feeding her oatmeal every day she would have a reason to complain. But, we don't.

Relationship advice from our Chinese school teacher??

Yes, why not? I was standing to the side when a parent asked our teacher, "Teacher, how do you discipline your children?" Of course, I'd be interested to hear.
This is what she said. She speaks to them as she would her friends. I think what she means by this is in a way that is not condescending or barking or ordering them around like they are children and we are the adults and we know best.

There's no such thing as rotten children

Just as there is no such thing as a bad dog...there are only bad dog owners, there is no such thing as rotten or misbehaving children, just rotten parents. Wouldn't you agree?

Parenting with conviction

For the past few weeks, I have really seen the fruits of my parenting with conviction. What I mean by that is there are certain things that I just don't waiver from when I am saying, "No" to things. For instance, when it comes to food. That is a BIG one for me. I cannot stand when children don't eat the food that is placed in front of them. Ever since D has been eating, I have firmly said that she has to eat whatever is on her plate except for maybe olives and onions which she has indicated that she does not like and I think that is fair.

Other people's kids

I spend a good amount of time checking out other people's kids. You know, like, kid envy maybe? I see these other kids and they seem so sweet and I think, "Why can't my kid be like that?" And then I remind myself, "Well...you aren't the kindest. You don't really speak in a sweet voice except to your dog..." And then I sort of shrug my shoulders and sigh.

Moms of Middle Schoolers

My sister forwarded me an article on NPR the other day. It's about moms of middle schoolers and how they often will feel challenged. The article almost likens middle school parenting to new child parenting but says it's even worse.

Sitters

Man, I have had this post in my head for a while...just couldn't find the time to post. When the babes was younger, she didn't really take to babysitters. She tolerated them, but of course, she preferred us never to go out. Especially me. Now that she is older and has the capacity to formulate "If..Then" scenarios. I think she rather likes when we call in sitters. The newer the better.

The Ego

I have shared before that I do a lot of self-reflecting. Truly, I feel as if Los Angelenos should not need therapy at all. We all spend enough time in our cars, slowly moving that we have plenty of time to self-reflect and just think about life in general.

The spoken word escapes me

Sometimes, I do so much better with writing things out rather than having a conversation. I feel like in conversation, there's the possibility of being interrupted and throwing my thoughts off course. Especially during heated times. However, I think the hubs differs in opinion.

Parenting other people's kids...again..

Just had dinner at a friend's house. We were in the kitchen prepping dinner when her daughter came in and announced, "We're bored"...now mind you, we hadn't even been there 30 minutes. I turned right to her and said to her exactly what I have said to D,

The 6-year old challenge

My child is a 6-year old challenge. We've been having quite a bit of back talk from her, general not listening and a lot of hot flashes. Well, it all sort of came to a head when we spent a good 10 days with the family. The cousins, there are two that sort of flank D on both ends - one is 6 one is 9. Both girls listen quite well...and D doesn't so much or at least she hasn't been lately.

The 6 year old

Well, I'm not going to go so far as to make a blanket statement about all 6 year olds...and say how crazy they can be...but I will say that my very own 6 year old - going to be 7 year old soon is really becoming quite the challenge. Quite the test of my very own patience.

The Influencer

That's me! I'm an influencer. Yea...not of anything big like a fashion influencer or a beauty influencer. No, I'm an influencer of my own kid.

I know I've posted about this sort of thing before - about how everything I do literally affects my child. I don't know if it's just her, but she is A LOT like me.