My child is a 6-year old challenge. We've been having quite a bit of back talk from her, general not listening and a lot of hot flashes. Well, it all sort of came to a head when we spent a good 10 days with the family. The cousins, there are two that sort of flank D on both ends - one is 6 one is 9. Both girls listen quite well...and D doesn't so much or at least she hasn't been lately.
Had a conversation with the hubs who was really unhappy with the way she's been asking. He basically said, "Whatever we are doing here, it's not working. She doesn't listen. I think she has too many privileges. I think we need to take away her horse lessons."
Umm, no. Absolutely not. I really do not agree with taking away things to try and get a child to do something. My question to the hubs was, "Just what result are you trying to achieve? A robot?"
Personally, I do not want a robot. I don't want a child who just says "yes" to everything because she wants her horseback riding lessons or because she is afraid of us.
Yes, there are moments when I really wish my child would listen to me. Sometimes I feel like, "what am I doing wrong? Why am I just sitting here speechless when my child is blatantly just defying me..." But, ultimately, I don't want to crush her fire either.
One day...the hubs lost it on the child. He went bananas yelling REALLY LOUDLY since she had been pitching fits pretty much all day. Wow did that scare her. I just hugged her and very seriously looked at her at gently said, "Things are going to have to look a lot different going forward, honey. You cannot continue to talk to us the way you do. We are going to have to start hearing more yesses and less nos...." that sort of thing.
I don't know. It took a few days of quiet conversation, but keeping one's cool really works. Keeping a level head really works. All this is still a work in progress, for sure. But I'm feeling pretty positive.