Thursday, May 18, 2017

Relationship advice from our Chinese school teacher??

Yes, why not? I was standing to the side when a parent asked our teacher, "Teacher, how do you discipline your children?" Of course, I'd be interested to hear.
This is what she said. She speaks to them as she would her friends. I think what she means by this is in a way that is not condescending or barking or ordering them around like they are children and we are the adults and we know best.
Obviously, in my mind, I'm sure she is referring to her adolescent children. I'm quite sure that when we have younger children like below the age of 11 these children seek our guidance, for sure. Of course, how we deliver could be fair and matter of fact, again, not ordering them around like they are dimwits.
Teacher also shared that she and her husband have been married for over 30 years and they've never had a fight. WHAA??T?? That sounds crazy to me. Both the other mom and I stood there aghast.
And this is what she had to say about that.
Right. We've never had a fight because we should all try not to say anything when we are angry. Because inevitably we will say something hurtful or something that we would regret. So, in keeping to that motto, I will just walk away when I am angry. I shut my mouth and walk away. And by doing that, my partner knows I'm upset. Then when he calls me later to discuss. I pick up the phone and I talk. I do not rehash the incident at all. Why would I do that? He knows he upset me. By picking up the phone or coming after me to talk he's already considered the incident. We don't need to rehash it. What do we stand to gain to rehash it? Just anger again.
Hey, that makes sense! I LOVE that! Perspectives. Perspectives.
When I walked away that day, I thought, "Wow, how did I get relationship advice from my child's Chinese school teacher?? Of all people?" Well, then it dawned on me. Of course I would get great advice from her! She is a Buddhist! The Chinese School is offered through a Buddhist organization and all the teachers are volunteers. Who better to get advice from?
I am so blessed.

No comments:

Post a Comment