My daughter is very strong willed and hates to be "put on the spot" or embarrassed. Don't tell her what to do...and definitely don't tell her what to do in front of people! I see that in her and I want to set her up for success too. I don't want to embarrass her in front of people so I know that I need to be proactive when I expect things of her. For instance, if we are going to meet people and I expect her to greet them, I will prep her beforehand - "D, we are going to meet M and her parents. Now, it would be polite of you to greet Mr. and Mrs. L when you see them right?" I do that when my mother is coming over too and D joyfully runs in to greet my mom in Chinese. And everyone is pleased.
The other night, we didn't prep her and when the friends showed up D was less than eager to greet especially since I jumped in to remind her to greet the adults and I guess that embarrassed her. She was quite grumpy...
It seems like a pain to have to be proactive, but truly, I don't really like being told what to do either and I would rather set her up for success than cut her down. Sometimes I forget and then I have to remind myself that my opportunity is lost and just to let it go.
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