Monday, August 18, 2014

On the topic of discipline

Sometimes, I sit and wonder, "HOW am I gonna get this girl to listen to me and stop speaking to either of us (the hubs and me) so disrespectfully??!"

Sometimes I feel like the "gentle" parenting approach is bogus.  All you get are a bunch of self-absorbed little brats.  I mean, I have found myself saying to the child once, "The world does not revolve around you, D...."  And of course have thought it a million times more after without verbally announcing it since she probably doesn't quite get it.

I was just catching up with a good girlfriend of mine a few days ago and talking about the woes of parenting - It's NO PICNIC!  It really isn't.  I've said this before.  It gives you a good kick in the arse and shows you all the bad facets of yourself and that's really hard to wrap your head around, let alone every single day.

I jokingly said, "Sometimes, I really just think a good smacking/spanking whatever would really set her in her place!  Then she'll think twice about mouthing off..."  And of course followed up with, "Of course, I would never outright hit my child..."

And my gf said, "I've spanked my sons only twice.  Once I spanked D because he sprinted out of sight in a department store.  That is absolutely NOT OKAY and by spanking him I let him know it."

I also recall another gf that that said she did the same thing - spanked her son for running out in the street.  You really have to impress upon these children the importance of not running out of sight or in the street.  Fortunately, the D has never done that.

The second time my gf hit her child was when he spoke to her disrespectfully.  She spanked him and said, "You are never to speak to me that way!  It is very disrespectful!"  And she told me and now, if they do anything they aren't supposed to do, I just point at the spoon.

Ding!  Ding!  OMG!  I lightbulb went off in my head.  That is genius I said to her!!  She responded, Yes.  You need to pick an item that you spank them with and then forever that item represents punishment.  You'll never need to spank them again.  Just look at the item, point at it or refer to it.

I kind of liked that idea...I came home and told my husband.  I was all excited...but he said, "Uh, yeah but that is just instilling the fear factor...."

My reasoning was, "Yes, but it's not unfounded fear as in, 'Oh, tiptoe lightly because you never know when you'll get hit next."  More like a fear because they've actually done something wrong and if you point at said object, they get the hint.  Is that so bad?  It worked for my gf.

I think I feel better when I hear stories like these because it makes me feel a little bit better about myself.  Like, okay, other mothers are not quite perfect either and sometimes if you fall out of line or if a little spank to get the point across works, then that is okay too.

Right now what I really try to do is emulate my mommy friends that have exhibited a heck of a lot more patience than me when it comes to dealing with their kids and I try to channel them when I am having a "moment."

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