Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Parenting Tip..from a child?

I've posted before where I am wondering, "Who's the parent here?" Sometimes, it's hard to decipher...the other day the babe had a play date over.  A lovely little girl that just has such a sweet nature. She came over to me after a couple hours play and said, "D is being mean to me."

My reply: "Oh?"  And by the way, D is always mean to her friends when they are over here for a play date.  She gets mad about something and just is not able to redirect herself.

So, I say, "Well then, you shall play with me.  Come along."

On our way, D sees us pass her bedroom and says, "Where are you guys going?"

I respond, "You are not being kind so I am taking X upstairs to play with me.  You may join when you can be kind."

D starts to cry.  We ignore her.  D's friend, X comes upstairs and we decide to make a necklace for D (X's idea, btw, not mine because she is so sweet)

We finish making the necklace and she goes downstairs and gives it to D.  They come out and we all decide to bake together.  D again is being mean so she runs off in a tizzy.  I then have a conversation with friend X.  Friend X says, "Sometimes I get upset and can say mean things."

I say, "Oh, and what do you do then?"

She says, "I go to my room and I come out after I've thought about my actions."

Lightbulb goes off in my head.  Yes!  I'm sure that is something that her mother has said to her - You may think about your actions.  Great idea!  In the past, I've never been a big fan of sending a child to her room b/c it's sort of like a time out.  At such a young age like 3 or 4 I think it doesn't really make sense because they don't understand consequences...actions..reactions.

But now, at age 6.  Yes.  I think she would understand.  And it's really not a punishment but just time to think.

Last night, D was being rather rude.  She tends to have a terrible temper and will strike out at the nearest person (usually me).  And she knows she is not supposed to hit so she will make the motion and really not hit very hard.  Last night, her temper took the form of throwing a piece of dog food at me and this was after we were having a "conversation" about her temper.

I sent her to her room in a very matter of fact manner - "You may go to your room and think about what you said and did. When you are ready, you may come join us for dinner."

Dad and I started our dinner.  A few minutes later, D joined.  And the only comment I made was, "Now you see that you should not have thrown the dog food, right?"  She replied, "Yes." And that was it.  Done.  It was a good exchange.  Imagine that - gaining parenting tips from a 5 year old.

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