A few days ago, the hubs and I had a bit of a scuffle. I basically came home and got in a huff about something. I guess I raised my voice and he got mad, back and forth, back and forth. Well, I calmed down and apologized for raising my voice but he was still miffed. At one point, he asked the babes, "Was mom yelling?"
Which, not sure why he wanted to involve the babes, but she kept a level head and actually answered. She said, "Well, um, I think, well...well, she wasn't speaking very nicely." And then looked at me as we were walking out the door, "Mom, you weren't being very nice."
I promptly said I was sorry as we walked out the door.
The babes, then shifted into "me" mode (mom mode). She literally looked at me and said, "Now mom, come with me. Come with me because I need to talk to you. I am now going to talk to you like you talk to me. Listen, you shouldn't raise your voice when you speak. Now when we get home, I'd like you to apologize to dad. Okay? And if you had a problem with him buying clothes for me, well there is a kinder way you could've have said it."
Mmhhmm. That is my child speaking to me exactly how I have spoken to her in the past. When I have my level head on when she loses it. It is really incredible to me how this child simply just embodies me.
I am also grateful for these opportunities where D can turn around and use the same tactics that I use on her and to show her how I can take her suggestion and immediately take action. I really did go home and really sincerely apologized to the hubs (even though my previous apologies were sincere too) again in front of the babes so she can see. Yes, we can do better and simple reminders really help. We don't have to hang onto our anger.
Anyhow, I can't say for anyone else what their experience is in having a child but clearly this child was brought into my life, 1) to offer me pure love and 2) to be a living mirror of myself. Wow. Funny how the universe works.