Have you ever read the book "Celestine Prophecy"? I read that book maybe when I was in High School and one thing totally stuck in my head - the idea that everyone that we meet, we are supposed to meet. And, I truly believe that. What does that have to do with conscious parenting?
Well, I'm sure I've shared that I learn so much from my mommy friends. Every step along the way. When we had D, a mommy friend shared Waldorf with me and now look at where we are at? I have another mommy friend whom I adore because she is what I aspire to be as a parent. She never loses her cool. She is able to offer her children solutions, "kinder words" where needed without ever raising her voice.
Recently, we've become friends with a little girl in 4th grade. She is the sweetest child. I even had mentioned to D once when we were out watching this little girl skate and when her parent would call her over, it didn't matter what she was doing, she'd come right over. They didn't have to ask twice. She didn't respond with "Wait a minute"...
Last night, we had them over for dinner along with a couple other kids and the parents. When it was time to go home, we discovered upon going downstairs to street level, that the kids at some point in the evening had thrown tomatoes at my car!! Hello...little tomatoes all over my car. Not cool.
What did we do? We went back and reprimanded D of course. So disappointed. I wondered and wondered how could I convey to my child that what she did was wrong? Without resorting to threatening no play dates or whatever.
This morning, the hubs had gotten up early to go on a bike ride. Upon returning home, what did he find, the little girl and her mom, scrubbing away at my car. Yes, this mother, brought her daughter back to my house at 8am with a bucket and rags to wash the tomatoes off my car. Now THAT is conscious parenting! We of course then went downstairs to join and it was such a good learning lesson for D too I hope. The mother has said it was their hope to have gotten to our house, cleaned the car and then left. Hello? Amazing!
And when I sit and think on it, I think, "Wow, that is the right thing to do." Had it been us, we would've just reprimanded as we did. Told her how disappointed we were and then driven the car this morning to the car wash to get cleaned. That would not have driven the point home and by the way, it doesn't educate the will. That is the whole point of Waldorf education, is to educate the will. Which is why a lot of the curriculum comes from within them. The teacher allow the students to discover. As opposed to filling their brains from the outside in. The knowledge comes from within them. Lives within them.
I would imagine that if this little girl hung out with mischievous girls and always had to pick up after them, then she would eventually distance herself from them, right? So much better than choosing their friends for them and telling them who they can and can't hang out with and why. Or...the opposite, perhaps she could teach her friends not to do things like that.
I feel truly blessed to meet my mom friends. They are all inspirations to me and help fuel my brain as I strive to be a better role model for my child.